she is now complete again, her heart is whole and forever his.

Im complete again guys! Im absolutly happy once again, it feels like all the old cracks of the past are being heald by the future. If im honest, i never thought i would feel like this again. The truth was, i was afraid, of not what i thought of myself, but what other people saw. I knew i wasn't a good sight when i was broken, and it was effecting the people around me. That was untill my eyes opened up again, and got dazzled by my past.

This boy, my love, my world. He has made my life worth living again. His smile backfires my mind to a place where only i see is him. He has bewitched me body and soul, and i love him.

Kevin, you have truley made me one happy girl, and completed me. You have made me see the inpossible and changed the way i look at things. Without you m'love, i would be nothing.

You have my heart, and always will forever babe, just keep me safe and warm in your arms forever, you are my home.

"i should never think what's in your heart, what's in our home, it's all i want"

only a matter of days untill half term; thank god!

i just can't wait to get out of this god forsaken town. im going to france for the week with family, so that should take my mind of things, and let me enjoy myself and have fun.

im being optomistic at the moment. looking at the good side of life; instead of focusing on the bad. it makes me happy to feel this way, since i havn't felt this sort of feeling in a long time.

its weird, my mood swings keep changing, one minute i could be really happy and the next depressed. im just going through that stage lol.

and and, luke has got back in good terms with me! we are actually talking like best chums again! im so happy to have him back in my life. i know its not the same as going out, but atleast that we are talking, laughing and meeting up as mates. that's better than having no-contact from someone you care about at all.

i keep listening to soft music like robert pattinson and just calm composing tunes recently.

puts me in the relaxing mood; that helps me think clearly and understand my thoughts.

well i think im going to have a geek moment. im going to play harry potter on the ps2 with my mother now (: haha.

i have made my decision, and im going to stick to it.

okay. im now single again, no suprise there. im just glad it happend sooner than later, because i didn't love him and im glad that we both found that out and continue with our frienship.

valentines day is just around the corner, and i guess this year i will be alone; yet again. that doesn't bother me much since i have never had someone on valentines day. maybe robert pattinson might just find me and write me a love letter and take me out to dinner, now that would be worth waiting for!

well i finally know my decision and im not going to give up on my true love. even tho that we have been apart and he has moved on, my heart will still belong to him; forever. i just wish that one day i can be back in his arms safe and warm while he watches over me while i sleep. untill that day, i will continue to take the complicated bullshit that keeps heading my way due to problems at his school, however my feelings and affections to him will never change. no-one can capture the 100% of my heart as he did and still has, and im willing to wait for that moment he once promised me that we would get back together in due time when we are both ready for a serious and committed relationship. he was my first love, my first kiss and i want him to be my last. from deep down in my heart i will always love you no matter what. im in love with you luke, and always will be untill my heart stops beating and my last breath will breath your name.

love is α cure. α promise, still so pure. rise like the tide, no need to hide. ғeαrless, just like before.

love? when will we trulely find someone what catches your heart?

i have never been the one to be in love; i have just been happy to hang out with my friends and have fun. but since i been in my first true relationship at the end of last year, i seem that im dieing inside because i want it so badly back. yes i have moved on and got someone else, but the thing is, it's not the same. he is a decent lad, nice personality and caring. but i just dont feel the affection as i did with luke; like not true love, but just some sort of friendship love.

i dont want to hurt him tho, i care for him and i havnt even been with him a week yet! but i just dont feel the same way towards him as he does towards me.

i know you should never dewell on your past, but i am. everytime im with him i just see luke. i just can't help my feelings towards him, but im trying to let go with all my hearts endevour even if it may kill me.

but even tho he has moved on got a new girlfriend and trying to live a happy life, i know hes not happy. thats the thing, its hard to let go when someone is happy and moved on; but alot harder when they move on but not happy.

maybe im just falling like a bird with a broken wing. falling into the unknown what lies ahead.

the good news is i supose that i still can see how things go with my boyfriend, even tho its not the same and it never will be. but i can atleast try; trying doesn't hurt anyone, right?

am i just hoping for him, or is that hope lost forever?

im new to blogging but i have heard it helps you express yourself, so i thought i might start and post some blogs.

well its 12:55 in the afternoon, and im off school ill.

i have recently experianced the feeling of love. my first proper boyfriend, a serious one.
maybe it was because we are too young for the committed relationship we was having but im heartbroken now. four months later, and its like we are back to the start; im trying to win over that amazing friendship we had before any of this happend.
the truth is, im never going to get over him. he was my world; he found my broken self who didnt know what she was looking for untill he came along and changed everything.
everyone is telling me to move on and be thankfull that we are still really close friends, but i cant move on, all the memories we shared; my first love, my first kiss. how am i suppose to just give up and forget that?
he has gave me hope tho, saying that maybe in a year when he grows up and matures enough to be more committed to this relationship, we could carry it on. i hope for that ever so much. i know that there isnt alot of decent men out there these days, who are like gentlemen like us girls want. but he was. if any of you have heard of the twilight saga and read about the most breathtaking man ever to be created whos a vampire (whats a bonus) you will understand that he my lover was exacually like that.
i just hope; well i more than hope it turns out for the best and i will be back in his arms, safe and warm, soon.
x